Customs

We went through Canadian Customs in Meldrum Bay on Manitoulin Island during our recent cruise. On arrival, I was pointed to a little room located next to the dock master and picked up a direct line telephone to a customs office at some remote location. I was asked a few questions… like did I have any stinger missiles on board and how many cartons of cigarettes we had. Cigarettes are heavily taxed in Canada and they don’t want you to bring in any more that you can smoke… In fact they would prefer that you did not bring in any cigarettes so that you would buy some to help pay for their health care system. I was a bit dishonest because I brought enough for the Duchess not to get too cranky. I sure am glad that they did not ask me how many Starbucks Frappuccinos were on board; I am sure that Tim Horton’s has lobbied the government to keep them out. The process took about 5 minutes and was pretty much the same as it has been every time I have crossed the boarder in the North Channel by boat.
It might be appropriate to acquaint the unfamiliar reader with the North Channel. The Channel is a body of water, in Canada, to the north of Drummond Island (in the US, Cockburn Island and Manitoulin Island in Canada). It is actually a northern channel of Lake Huron from the St. Mary’s River (which goes to the locks at the Soo) to the Georgian Bay. If you picture the hand, which is the State of Michigan, Lake Huron is the body of water on the thumb and forefinger side and has miles of coast line with the State of Michigan as well as Canada. The border between the United States and Canada runs down the middle of Lake Huron and up through a passage between Drummond Island and Cockburn Island such that most of the North Channel is in Canada, but a small bit of the shoreline of Drummond Island is in the United States. The point to this geographic lesson is that a boat can easily go back and forth across the boarder without anyone probably ever knowing it. The fact that I choose to be a proper citizen and report in to Canadian customs on my arrival and then report in to US customer on my return I am sure makes me somewhat of an anomaly for cruisers of the North Channel.
In past years, when we returned to the United States, we would get on our VHF radio and radio the customs officer on Drummond Island. He would ask a few questions and pass us through. We would not even stop. Today however, is different. The threat to this country that we might be bringing in terrorists, or contraband of some kind has made it necessary for the US Government to station two customers officers on Drummond Island to personally great each boat reporting in. The customs officers are not local so they are housed at the 5 star resort on the island, courtesy of you and me. They serve six days at a time and then two different officers come to stay. I think that is so that they do not become too friendly with the locals.
This year we called into the Drummond Island Yacht harbor and said we needed to fuel up and clear customs. We were told to proceed to the fuel dock and were greeted by two unformed customs officers. Uniformed…. With guns and badges! The officers asked to come on board and we of course obliged. We had not purchased anything in Canada except a few nick nacks…. But the Duchess had been collecting rocks and a few of them had lichen growing on them. I was waiting for the inevitable questions about agricultural products… That question never came. I am not sure what these guys’ names were, but I think one was Vern and the other was Opie. Vern was in charge of the paperwork and Opie was in charge of asking us questions in the hope of us tripping on an answer and revealing what we were really up to. Opie opened my passport and went through every page. I am pretty well traveled so he saw, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, South Africa, China, just to name a few. Some questions were generated. I would have said that I was with the CIA, but that other guy who inhabits this body was not so brave. I am not sure how I did on the answers, but Opie asked if he could look around the boat. I told him of course, thinking of the rocks that were stored in the small stateroom to starboard, which also served as my laundry room. Fortunately it was in its usual state of disarray and he did not spend much time there and did not find the rocks.
Vern completed the paper work and took my credit card for 27.50. I figured that they needed to clear 20 boats a day to pay for their hotel room, and that does not include golf. We were the fifth that day. I wonder why the Homeland Security department needs such a hefty budget. The whole process took about 45 minutes and insured that our country was a bit safer. The reader should note that only boats that had no illegal anything on board would bother to subject themselves to the customs process as it would be quite easy to drop your load of whatever almost any where in the US without anyone ever knowing. I wonder if they have some sophisticated radar system that tracks all boats to prevent this; is that what Star Wars is all about?
It was interesting to note that shortly after we cleared customs… the threat level had been increased/ I asked the Duchess if there was an election coming up and she replied that she did not think so… I think that the lichen on the rock must have been toxic.